I paddled out at Ali’i Beach in Haleiwa today, and found myself feeling fearful. It had been a while since I last went out, but I couldn’t understand why I was fearful. I was inside … looking out at the waves on the outer break that I had paddled out to before. The waves looked bigger and wilder today. As I looked out I was trying to scan the surfer line up, searching for a friend who had already paddled ahead of me

I was at Alii Beach today to surf with another friend, one who is also a beginner surfer like myself. Our plan was to surf the inner break where most of the beginners hang around to surf. Whalah! Perhaps that was the fear factor I was feeling. I was being overly ambitious than what I had intended.

I was desiring being out in the bigger surf, but not quite ready for that. Wow! So glad I figured out the source of that fear.

So off I went into the inner break with the newbie folks. Happy as can be where I was. The itty bittys were coming out in groves to surf in that area. I watched these kids in awe, as I noticed the facial expressions of these little girls around 7 years old.

I took a step back to notice the desire, determination, and fearlessness they had on their faces. Admirable and amazing!

I recognized that at that age, I was in a different place than I am at today. I would not have taken up surfing as a child that age … raised by fear. Fear is something I have worked on very hard to change … thus taking up surfing! But also, I wanted to acquire that feeling that my friends express when they speak of surfing.

[original artwork by Justin Floyd]