My first surf session at Puaena Point was a challenge – not able to catch waves and difficulty popping up. The waves were not powerful enough, and I didn’t have paddle strength to drop in. This particular outing, I ventured to Haleiwa’s famous Ali’i Beach and caught all the waves, because they had more power.

Perhaps the power was too strong for a 4th time out surfer causing over-stimulation in da head and blanked out da mind from thinking. I could not even stand up, but I was catching the waves, or perhaps they were catching me.

That was key, I felt, so I practiced being in da white wash and wiping out. That was kind of fun and necessary I felt; like being desensitized. I was able to stick out a 2 hour surf session, giving full credit to a healthy regimen of hiking – I was in good cardio condition.

You develop strange relationship with awareness of self out in the water.

On the fifth day, I went back to Ali’i Beach. The initial outing turned out to be a good day … no fear … but this time was different. I had a strange feeling going on from somewhere inside me, but I kept pushing through it. I paddled out into the water and out to the lineup, and there it was as clear as day – some kind of turmoil. Things became crystal clear out there; you leave the world behind and enter this place of only one thought, surf. Maybe this helped to eliminate other thoughts, and helped to see the remaining feeling related to the moment of my internal mini turmoil. This little flicker of fear in my chest … what was it?

You can’t talk much out on the water, and time for your mind to process is always disrupted by the next set of waves that come rolling in. So kept quiet and thinking about what to do. I never felt this before and my urge was to power through it … much like the way I dealt with my own fearx about paddling out and surfing for the first time.

But this tiny flicker sidelined me; it kept me past the break, and drifted me further than any other surfer away from shore. And that’s when it hit – a rogue 6 foote wave came rolling in and the cresting wave broke right over me. I readily surrendered to the flicker in my chest after tumbling in the biggest washing machine I had ever been party to.

I paddled back into the steady and sure sands of the beach. Sometimes you just can’t paddle out and you may not understand why. I say, listen to your body. My own internal system was warning me, but since this was a new feeling, I operated based on past experiences. I disregarded the warning sign from da soul. It was almost like a premonition as to what would happen. But, I must encourage others, you have to keep going out.

Friends keep asking if I have the passion yet … that feeling inside that calls you back to the ocean no matter what. Honestly, by my 6th day of surfing, I only had the desire, not the passion. It was still feeling like a chore to be out there. Work. Not fun yet. Last one in the water, just dragging my butt, not entirely enthusiastic about the process, but making myself go out.

That day, my 6th day of surfing, I paddled out with power, and as soon as I reached the line up and saw a good wave, something happened. I did not even stop to sit up on board just turned and started paddling. BOOM! I ’m on the wave, and I’m up and riding for a while too! A moment of disbelief washed over me, then a pure moment of joy replaced it. I was cheering my own accomplishment; I became my own applauding audience.

Oh yeah, and every wave after that I was on and upright, to some degree. Somehow I obtained more paddling strength to catch the weaker waves of Puaena now. The quieter waves also made it possible for me to pop up on my board now with less distraction of dealing with overpowering waves.

How sweet is that? Surprised and having a blast now! Riding tandem waves with other surfers, laughing and smiling.

Oh yeah I got it, the passion has arrived.

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