I have a very hard time making decisions. Most of the major decisions in my life, where I went to junior college, university, who I have dated, where I live, have been made at the last minute without much thought as to why, just with feeling or reaction. Whenever I get stuck inside my head, thinking, I start singing the following Tool lyrics:

“Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.”

I repeat the first line in my head and it reminds me that I need to stop over thinking, over analyzing, make a decision and stick with it.

In my struggle I have found the only two places I don’t over think are in the water and on the volleyball court. When I’m in the water, I don’t think. I feel. I react. I am driven by emotion and not thought.  I have also found that I am most driven by anger. Without anger my paddling is weaker, pop ups are slower and wave selection is safe. When I tap into my anger I paddle harder, pop up faster and attempt riskier take offs.

… over thinking? Perhaps. Am I really feeling versus thinking when it comes to matters of love, surfing, and life? Am I feeling versus thinking when on land and in the water…