For the second time in my life, the person I recently broke up with is moving. Just as suddenly as the first time, there is no reason or explanation, just a frenzied rush to get out of where they are. They say the will be quitting their job, selling their house, and heading out to look for work where ever they get it …

I read this as “running away to somewhere out of state”.

I, on the other hand, will remain here and continue on with my routine being reminded of my past actions and activities whenever I go to certain familiar places or run into familiar people.

What relevance does this have to anyone else?

None really, but I use it all as fuel. I discovered that I rely on my inner anger to surf just a bit harder and just a bit stronger. I use my inner anger and emotions as an extra source for power when I paddle, when I need to dig deeper and stronger in the water. I use it for the confidence to say “this is my wave” and mean it. I use the adrenaline to pop up faster.

Recently a friend asked why I don’t paddle for that many waves anymore … and I realized that for some over the past few years, I just wasn’t positively tapped into my anger. More sad and defeated, than angry. When I don’t tap into the anger I paddle slower, I pop up slower, I paddle shallow. I don’t claim the wave as mine and make it so.

But I’m just not angry anymore. While the recent developments in my life will help me grow and learn as I progress towards the near future, I realize that I will have to find another emotion to fuel my fire other than anger … perhaps love.

BONUS VIDEO (unrelated to surfing, but Ani DiFranco sings about not being angry anymore!)

…