“How does a dedicated surfer balance love, responsibility, and relationships with a surf lifestyle?”

It’s the great risk which comes with any great passion: that one day, your passion will ask too much of you, will be placed into conflict with the soul. (The real actual human soul, that is, not its lame surf-market version.)

Love is a beautiful thing, for instance, but as a guide to how to live, it’s somewhat unreliable. Incredibly cruel, selfish [things] are done every day in its name. The same goes for surfing. You’ll chase your tail all your life and in the end the next wave is all that’ll matter.

But what happens when you catch your last wave? And who will you have abandoned in order to do it? How will you answer when it asks too much?

We doubt very much that any formula exists for dealing with this crisis. We’re all complex human beings; the paths we choose will never be quite the same as anyone else’s, nor will they look the same from the outside as from within.

But we would suggest that the process of learning to surf — or perhaps more importantly, learning to be a surfer — may hold some great metaphorical lessons.

Look at the idea of “balance“. What a primal surfing skill that is. The good surfer does little else, in fact. Riding a wave in balance is a constant process of anticipating the changes ahead and adjusting to them. A good surfer does this well because he or she has learned, usually after some painful trial and error, to understand the nature of waves and love them for their aspects both good and bad, and ride each section as it comes. Perhaps human relationships are not entirely dissimilar.

Surfing selfishness has a bad track record, by the way. It invariably disappoints, and you’ll see that disappointment etched on the faces of more than a few grumpy old-guy locals on the coastlines of our little world.

Few of us are suited to a life spent in pursuit of personal pleasure at the expense of all else. In fact, it’s possible that the psychological arc of the surfing life is only completed if and when the surfer chooses to share his or her learning with others.

We suspect this is part of the motive force behind so many of the surf schools around the world at the moment. Isn’t it fascinating how many of these schools are led by well-known former professional surfers? We have often noticed in conversations with these surfers that they have a calmness, a completeness about them that was rarely apparent back in their professional days. Very few of them are getting rich through their schools, but they’re happy in a way surf contests were never able to manage for them. In essence, they’ve resolved the conflict through acting in the service of others — through sharing.

What’s good for you? You’re the only one who can answer that. In any case, we suggest keep asking the question! Just by doing that — and by enlisting those closest to you in the effort to find out — you’re on the right track to your own calm place.

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[by Nick Carrol via Surfline]

It’s all about constantly being in the now; knowing you don’t get to choose whether you move forward.
You’re going to move forward, so don’t fight it.

Yeah … I just wiped out, and it will be several more seconds before I can move towards the surface of the water, break free of the foamy froth surrounding me and my surfboard, and catch a breath of air. I calmly watch the movement of the water above me and wait for my chance to surface, making my way behind the passing wave.

Yes, I just wiped out on what should have been a really nice ride on a really nice wave! Ahem. A side note: If you are an ocean person, surfer, waterman, or have ever been in the throes of the ocean’s waves, you are more than likely familiar with the concept of “not fighting it”. Swimmers are often cautioned by ifeguards not to fight a rip tide -  a strong surface current flowing outwards from a shore – when caught in one. Rip tides are narrow enough in size that if you swim parallel to shore, you can easily escape the current and then swim back to shore.

Right. Don’t fight it, just go with the flow until you can easily maneouvre around it and be on your way. As I climb back on my surfboard, half gasping for air and half laughing at what was possibly a good wipe out scene for anyone watching, I remind myself of being in the now. In layman’sterms, it is sort of a quick evaluation and assessment of the situation – a “what did you learn” moment in time. I learned to be in the now, watch what is happening, and respond in a proportionate manner. But the quote is more than just a metaphor for surfing … it’s a good mantra for every day living too!

As with most things in this world, we really do not get to choose a lot of what takes place around us, nor do we get to choose when those things happen. We only get to choose HOW we react to each and every single situation. How we react and continue to respond with every given moment is the only thing that we may be really in control of. A less than attentive driver on the speedway who cuts you off should not dictate how you are to respond or spend the next few moments of your life … you get to choose how you react to that. And of course, there will be moments upon moments when emotion rules over logic, but how far you continue to let it ebb is part of that choice as well. I have chosen to see this quote as a statement to choose what to fight and when to fight – like fighting a rip tide in utter futility versus fighting your own fear of drowning into the strength to swim around a rip tide – not as a commandment to lay down and simply not fight.

It’s not permission to surrender at the challenges we face since we are not in control, but rather a resounding statement to know when it is appropraite to prepare, to analyse, think, and to fight back. It is also a testament to the change that this world will constantly go through – both evolution and regression – moving at such a constant pace that nothing is spared from the momentum. It will change, it is changing, and there is nothing you can do except choose how you will react to each moment of change and forward (sometimes backwards) progression.

And now, if you will excuse me, I have another good wave to catch since I have managed to make my way back to the line up … the waves are coming and I want to make sure I’m in the right spot!

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Those thoughts ran through my head as the events of my life unfolded in front of me. Negativity and sadness begot more negativity and sadness. Then a friend said, “Look at it this way, expectations are good because they can propel people (including you) into being someone or something they never thought they could be and reach heights they never thought they could.”

Fast forward 6 months and I believe him. Expectations are good things to have. They may not only push people around you to succeed but they can push you to succeed.

I looked up the definition of the word expectation.  I saw each definition as positive, such as  “the act or state of looking forward or anticipating.” In my mind I imagine a child sitting on an airplane waiting to land and get to the hotel. The hotel that has a huge pool with multiple water slides. A landscape the child has imagined in their mind. Upon arrival, the child sees the grounds and a look of wonder appears in their eyes, as if, what they are seeing has exceeded any expectation they had.

As we see more and learn more I think we lose that wonder. We come to expect beautiful things, places, great service, but when we get it, instead of allowing it to wow us, we just brush it off because it is what we expected. It is what should have happened. We have lost the excitement of when what we expect comes to fruition.

Buddha taught, “All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” If I keep my thoughts positive and full of love, I will be those thoughts. I will be positive and full of love. I expect greatness from myself and others around me. I expect to catch every wave and when I do I smile with appreciation. I expect to get an interview for that job, or reaching higher, I expect to get that job. I expect to surf daily.  And when I do, I will relish in the love that ensues. While it may not happen immediately or even as fast as you want it to, if it’s in your mind, it will come to fruition.

A simple change in thoughts will lead to a change in action. A simple change in attitude will lead to change in response. I am working hard, each day, to monitor my thoughts, attitude and expectations. While it’s not easy, the results will exceed my expectations.

I went with some friends – Noe, Nat and Rich. We turned up at the only viable spot, where it was breaking one to two foot. It was small, but the waves were lovely and clean and they were breaking all along the beach. Luckily, there was no real sweep and the tide had taken a lot of water out, so the paddling was easy for my poor, exercise-deprived body.

The sky was clouded, dull and grey but the water was clear and warm (especially considering it’s winter!) and we all went out with a fair bit of enthusiasm for it all. And we got a lot of little waves. A lot. And it was lots of fun.

At one point, I was lying on my board, smiling and waving at Noe as she paddled into a pretty little wave and she was smiling back and then, all of a sudden, the sun burst out through the grey sky! The water glowed green and everything turned to glass. As I watched Noe paddle, the wave she was on lit up from within, light sparkling out through the water beneath and around her. It was truly beautiful. She jumped up and caught that wave, trimming and turning for a good 50 metres until it spilled and disappeared into the shallows.

Sometimes, I have moments in the water where I remember why I love surfing so, so much. Often these moments aren’t about me as much as they are about the ocean, the sky, the sun, my friends, and sharing all of these things at once. It’s like a real feeling of being in the world.

This was one of those moments, and it will sustain me until I get in the water next. Whenever that might be…

“Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.”

I repeat the first line in my head and it reminds me that I need to stop over thinking, over analyzing, make a decision and stick with it.

In my struggle I have found the only two places I don’t over think are in the water and on the volleyball court. When I’m in the water, I don’t think. I feel. I react. I am driven by emotion and not thought.  I have also found that I am most driven by anger. Without anger my paddling is weaker, pop ups are slower and wave selection is safe. When I tap into my anger I paddle harder, pop up faster and attempt riskier take offs.

… over thinking? Perhaps. Am I really feeling versus thinking when it comes to matters of love, surfing, and life? Am I feeling versus thinking when on land and in the water…

I read this as “running away to somewhere out of state”.

I, on the other hand, will remain here and continue on with my routine being reminded of my past actions and activities whenever I go to certain familiar places or run into familiar people.

What relevance does this have to anyone else?

None really, but I use it all as fuel. I discovered that I rely on my inner anger to surf just a bit harder and just a bit stronger. I use my inner anger and emotions as an extra source for power when I paddle, when I need to dig deeper and stronger in the water. I use it for the confidence to say “this is my wave” and mean it. I use the adrenaline to pop up faster.

Recently a friend asked why I don’t paddle for that many waves anymore … and I realized that for some over the past few years, I just wasn’t positively tapped into my anger. More sad and defeated, than angry. When I don’t tap into the anger I paddle slower, I pop up slower, I paddle shallow. I don’t claim the wave as mine and make it so.

But I’m just not angry anymore. While the recent developments in my life will help me grow and learn as I progress towards the near future, I realize that I will have to find another emotion to fuel my fire other than anger … perhaps love.

BONUS VIDEO (unrelated to surfing, but Ani DiFranco sings about not being angry anymore!)

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But bacon is versatile, not only is it perfect next to my two over easy eggs and two slices of toasts. It’s perfect in my split-pea soup. Sprinkled all over my salad. Above my hamburger meat. In my clam chowder. My corn chowder. Any chowder for that matter. It’s even divine in my sushi rolls.

Oh just to be near bacon! I’d be L or T at the drop of a dime. I love bacon for what bacon is. Despite all the fancy things that dress it up; mayo, eggs, lettuce, tomato, etc., essentially, like Shakira said in her song:

“Underneath Your Clothes There’s an endless story There’s the bacon I chose There’s my territory And all the things I deserve For being such a good girl honey…”

Except, I think she said “man” instead of “bacon.” But who’s paying attention? I love bacon for how it makes me feel. I long for mornings that have promises of breakfast buffets that include my true love. As far as I know, pigs can fly, because every single sweet and salty crunch sounds like an angelic choir of cherubs to my ears and every chewy nibble is like pure bliss to my palate.

Like recessions, boyfriends come and boyfriends go. Postage stamp rates go up and keep going up. Viruses are named and renamed. One thing remains constant and certain— and it has nothing to do with death or taxes. It’s simply my bacon-love.

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Perhaps it has gotten too routine for him. Maybe he isn’t pushing himself in the water. Maybe he needs to try a new break or a new board. No matter what the issue, he still continues to go … and this past weekend I think he fell in love with surfing again, I know I did. A beautiful morning at Pop’s in Waikiki. The waves were big with consistent lines rolling in. Paddling took a lot of energy and most times, after battling, I would see a wave coming and instead of fighting it trying to get out, I just turned around and caught it. Sure the waves I was catching were smaller, but I was alone on the wave and having a lot of fun!

That’s when I remembered why I love surfing: The feeling of my shoulders, arms and back aching after a long paddle out and catching lots of waves. The feeling that I may not make the paddle in because I am so tired. Stopping halfway to swim in the calm waters. The excitement I feel in my gut when I get off what I know has just been my wave of the day. The increased energy I have paddling back out after that ride.

Getting humbled by the ocean just when think you have made the drop or pulled off a turn. Getting out of the water at 7:30am, having breakfast and making it home by 10:00am only to realize I still have the entire day ahead of me. Being so tired by 9pm that I fall asleep knowing I need to wake up early to do it all over again.

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