BE PATIENT (oh so very patient!)

It takes a long time to learn to surf … and even longer to master it. Surfing is flat out hard and one should not expect to be ripping waves on their first day out. If you want a basic feeling about learning to surf, it is basically an exercise in patience. If you think you’ll be successful overnight, you will be sorely disappointed. Oh, and know that you will fall – a lot – while learning to surf … but the more you do it the better you will get, because the learning comes from the falling.

THINK FAST, BE ADAPTABLE

In the vast ocean, no two waves are exactly alike … ever. Every way breaks differently and when you’re riding a wave you always need to be making split second decisions. You can’t predict how a wave will break so be ready to make decisions and adapt on the fly.

LEARN WHERE TO “BE”

In the sport of surfing, you are relying on so many elements to come together just to make a “surfable” wave. It may seem like luck at times, but good surfers know it is all about reading the ocean waves and then placing yourself just before where it will break into a powerful wave. It is not pure luck … it takes a lot of skill (and patience) to be positioned correctly to catch that good wave. Although lots of waves will come your way, it is up to you to READ the oncoming lines and be positioned as well as ready to ride.

CHOOSE WISELY

Being in the right position to catch a wave is one thing. Catching the right wave is another thing. As a surfer, you learn to read the shape of the waves as they’re coming in. If you pick the wrong wave it may close out on you and there will be no where to go except right over the falls. Do not just paddle for every wave … this is a recipe for quick exhaustion and possibly a punch in the face from other surfers. Learn to CHOOSE the good waves to ride. Learn to recognize and pick the right waves that you can ride successfully. Get on the wrong wave and you will get pounded by a force more powerful than you!

BE THE WAVE, WANT THE WAVE!

There are a lot of surfers out in the water, and they all want that same GOOD wave as you! If you don’t get focused with the first four surfing essentials mentioned above, there are a hundred other surfers in the lineup who will paddle right around you and happily catch the waves. Don’t be overly greedy or aggressive out in the line up … but remember that to get the wave, you also have to put it all together and WANT that wave … it will not always come to you.

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1. Local style is about working together.

Everyone kokua or helps. Help is not always asked for, but rather people will volunteer. A good example is when my father died, there were people who volunteered to pay for the pig, cook the food for those that attended the funeral, make the box for my dad’s casket to be laid in the ground, etc. Others were asked and quickly agreed to help such as setting up refreshments, baking food for the people, digging my father’s grave, printing the flier (announcements), giving us thank you notes for those that attended the funeral, and all of this were done at no cost to us. Everyone came together as a community and chipped in. We all worked together. And my father’s example is not a unique one. This is what they always do.

2. There’s an intricate & intimate social dance that islanders perform together every day on and off the job. Unwritten set of rules of behavior, informally known as “local style,” is essential for anyone who has made Hawaii their home.

Basically certain etiquette needs to be followed while in Hawaii. A lot has to do with trust and being that Hawaii is a small place, this trust is pretty much set in stone, but not spoken of. In my friend’s situation, new neighbors who aren’t accostumed to the cultures and protocols of the islands had moved in next door. Rather than deal with the situation as we would, the new neighbors decided to write a letter in a threatening manner providing a date that the action that needs to be taken must be done or legal action would be taken. Was that necessary? Certainly not. The outsiders simply displayed how they had no trust in people. They crossed that imaginary line, didn’t follow protocols and the social etiquette that we are accustomed to that says out loud that they have broken those set of rules of behavior – a la Hawaiian style.

3. Understated way of social interaction is a complex mix of culture, race and history and is characterized by soft, humble, indirect communication and a respect for others’ accomplishments.

Because of the various cultures that obviously contributed these social behaviors onto our culture today, we all learned to adapt and incorporated them into our daily life. The humbleness, probably a Japanese influence as well as a Hawaiian one. Chinese have this as a part of their culture too. Maybe if people were mindful of these cultural differences, they really wouldn’t have such a hard time fitting in, getting in trouble with the locals and not be so disliked. It all comes down to adaptation, learning to adapt to the environment, the people and most importantly their culture, their ways.

4. Local style is collaborative, putting more value on the “we” and not the “I”.

Typical Haole mentality, throughout history has always been an individualistic one. Not to mention, this is very prominent with American society. It is all about the individual. The “we” thing exists in Asian cultures too, but in Hawaiian culture, since ancient days it has always been a “community” based culture. People, especially the commoners did not have much for their own personal use. Individuality is not or was not something you would really see. You have heard stories of how the people had to work the land for the chiefs. This is because it was a community based society. Individual ownership was limited to the malo, kapa, and their own name. That is why emphasis is put on the Hawaiian name because it was one of the few “individually possessed” items. Everything was about “we”. So this aspect has worked its way into today’s society.

5. Local style is not always very verbal and engaging. It isn’t all talk. Actions always speak louder than words.

I think we know this to be true. You can bullshit all you want but it won’t get you anywhere unless you can show that you can put out what you say you can do. Mainland style is all about impressions. You can lie all you want and people are impressed. It’s all bullshit talk! In Hawaii, the mentality is different. You can say you are a king but unless you can show your regalness, no one really would care.

6. Local people are up to their necks with Mainlanders telling them how they should be living their lives.

Change is one thing many people do not like, in general. In Hawaii however, it is magnified. Last thing people want is outsiders trying to tell them what they think would work best for them. They (outsiders) really would not know. Only the locals would know what would work best for themselves and future generations.

7. People with a superior attitude don’t last very long in Hawaii.

Mainlanders have that mentality that they are superior because of money, education and probably preconceived notions that locals are just inferior because of all those I mentioned. Other things that may make them think that, the mentality of locals, the speech, and basically the “local style” living or the laid back or passive character.

8. The islands have a long history of Mainland newcomers, who are lionized as people of vision and destiny, then publicly mauled for their inability to fit in. It goes all the way back to Hawaii’s first malihini, Capt. James Cook, whose divine aura wore off quickly.

Nothing irritates locals more than outsiders displaying this type of behavior. They (mainlanders) see themselves as a leader of change and find that there may be others who idolize them or seem to show some type of idolizing, probably just awe struck by their conduct or manner of doing things. Nothing more. But as always, these things do not last very long and people begin disliking them for it.

9. Should visionary leaders spend valuable time learning the lay of the island landscape when their job is to blaze new trails in the first place? Is the prevailing culture preventing the state from making significant and necessary change?

There’s always that balance. How much is too much. Most importantly, how much are they really losing if “opportunities” are not available by way of modernization or industrializing an area? It’s always good to communicate this type of information with the locals and get their input. If they feel they should try to progress by building new things, then they should have that opportunity to express that feeling because it is their life at stake. And unlike these “visionaries”, locals are not necessarily for these things for “profit” but rather for a much more comfortable living.

10. Newcomers to the islands often have difficulties fitting in, due to the fact that in Hawaii people have strong associations with family, so a lot of their activities involve family and extended family.

Mainlanders seem to be disconnected from their own large and/or extended families to begin with. So it is easy for them to just concentrate on themselves. Those that have assimilated became part of someone’s ‘ohana and I have heard some say that. That tells me that they learned to adjust to their new environment. They may or may not have had some difficulty at first but learned how to quickly adapt in order to survive in Hawaii.

11. As a rule, most locals are bicultural. That is, they know how to behave in different ways when situational pressures dictate it. Culture and cultural differences are programmed into the locals.

We all grew up with different cultures. For me personally, there was the Hawaiian culture which we all were exposed to. Then there was the Japanese people in our town whose influence was unavoidable. And in our household it was Filipino culture with a combination of the other two that I mentioned. This is normal for local people.

12. 6 degrees of separation. In Hawaii, it is more like 1 degree of separation. Be mindful of what you say to people because you’ll never know if they are related.

Everyone knows everyone. Or, they end up knowing that person’s aunty, uncle, cousin, neighbor, etc. It’s a very small place. Just a man who works in our buidling asked if I was from Oahu after finding out that I was from the islands. I told him that I was from Molokai. He said he didn’t know anyone from Molokai, and told me that he was from Kauai and I said that my uncle was from there and he asked the name. I said “VILLABRILLE” and he said, “Kenneth?” Turns out that this guy and Kenneth were classmates. That is 1 degree of separation, not 6. Recently in school a young Hawaiian man saw me with a “Justice for Hawaiians” t-shirt. He stopped me and we began talking, following the normal protocol by identifying genealogy. Although he comes from Waimea on the island of Hawai’i, his great-grandparents were from the island I am from and he began asking me if I knew who this person and that person was. How many degrees of separation? One! But multiplied so many times. He and I share the same cousins. My classmate is also his cousin. And the list goes on. So it is a very small place.

13. Hawaii is all about developing relationships. Regardless of your qualifications, people aren’t likely to work with you until they have established a relationship with you.

This goes back to culture. Emphasis is put on family and becoming a part of that family, the community is what it boils down to. This is how relationships are established, through familial connections.

14. Do not confuse slow with incompetent. Some people equate the slower pace with people as not having talent.

Nothing more than different lifestyles. Some may see New York as a much more faster pace environment than the laid back Californian environment. Californians do things differently from New Yorkers. It’s just the way that it is. Hawaii is no different. Their standards are different from other places. People need to learn to accept things as they are rather than trying to judge based on what they are accustomed to.

15. Fast-talking braggadocios may get by on the mainland, but people in Hawaii have very little tolerance for the brash and arrogant.

This goes back to the part about how local style isn’t just all talk but a lot has to do with actions. This “talk” can come across as arrogant, snobbish, high-makamaka. Locals just cannot deal with that type of bragging because it really doesn’t matter to them. Unlike here in the mainland, people thrive on those type of things. It’s basically the norm.

16. Learn to balance confidence with a healthy dose of humbleness. There’s a certain style of leadership in Hawaii – humility, coupled with results. It is the most highly respected form of leadership.

This is just basic “good character” and what gets people admired. If we look at those “successful” in Hawaii, they are the ones that exhibit both of these type, and that is confidence and humbleness. One example is Nainoa Thompson, who was a key player in revitalizing the ancient Hawaiian navigation system across distant seas. He is now one of the Kamehameha Schools Bishop Estates’ trustees. He was selected as a trustee because of his commitment to the culture, his knowledge and he is very humble about it. This I am sure why one of the reasons he is admired, because he has balanced the two.

Aloha, and welcome to Hawaii!

Before I compare and contrast, it’s only fair that I describe my surfing conditions. I learned to ride a long board in Texas. Even though South Padre Island boasts the best surf in Texas – it’s still Texas. I learned on waves no more than a couple of feet tall at best. I know not the joy of surfing in places like Santa Cruz. Maybe some day I will.

First, the overlap. Both sports involve balance, and once you’re up and riding it is a similar balance. Both are driven by external forces, in both cases you riding along on another energy flow. The margin for error – in other words, what it takes to fall down – is relatively the same in both sports.

In their general nature, you’re doing the same thing… Oh, but the contrast are many.

There is a gap in effort versus reward. The mountain waits on you. First you ride up in the comfort of your lift chair. Then when you’re ready to fly, you stand up and take flight. Your terrain is static and you are in control for a long ride. The ocean, on the other hand, laughs at you. First you paddle out through oncoming waves on your narrow wobbly boat. This alone will wear you down to jello. Once you make it past the breaks and are ready to catch a wave, you have to wait until the right moment. When that moment comes, you paddle hard and drop into mother nature’s furious arms. If you can pick your moment and lift yourself to your feet, you’re suddenly riding a dynamic flow of liquid. It’s a lot to keep up with and goes by quickly.

It’s a rush, a well earned rush.

In just two trips, I’ve already seen that surfing is more than just a sport. For many people, it’s a way of life… or perhaps a way of understanding life. Though I dearly love snowboarding, I’ve never spent a night in my tent listening to waves crash on a snowboarding trip. There’s something about being near the ocean that feels empowering and uplifting. There’s something healthy about having sun and salt water on your body.

You can see it in the smiles of other surfers. It’s a wonderful thing.

[iJS used parts of original artwork from Andy Shaw]

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Yeah! It was fun. It was harder than I thought, but fun. Easy to paddle though. And I like that I was surfing with so many girls!

These kinds of conversations still, after so much talking and thinking about it, astound me. Even though I know they shouldn’t.

Don’t you usually surf with any women?

No! Never! But it was cool having so many chicks out there.

Why? So you can perve?

Yeah, a bit. Haha! But it was just nice not to only be out there with dudes. It sucks that I usually only get to surf with guys.

I’ve never been unlucky enough to only surf with guys in the water. Being a woman means that if I’m surfing, then there is always going to be a woman in the lineup. I don’t know what that means, but apparently it means something for men like Bruce. But in some ways, I feel lucky – lucky that I don’t always surf with only women or only men. Lucky that I get to have all these funny conversations and moments in and out of the water. Where I usually surf, women in the water are not an exception to the rule – in fact, they’re sometimes the majority – so like I said, it’s hard for me to get my head around the fact that women who surf continue to be imaginary for so many men. Like a myth.

I suppose it’s good to be reminded of it every so often.

Perhaps it has gotten too routine for him. Maybe he isn’t pushing himself in the water. Maybe he needs to try a new break or a new board. No matter what the issue, he still continues to go … and this past weekend I think he fell in love with surfing again, I know I did. A beautiful morning at Pop’s in Waikiki. The waves were big with consistent lines rolling in. Paddling took a lot of energy and most times, after battling, I would see a wave coming and instead of fighting it trying to get out, I just turned around and caught it. Sure the waves I was catching were smaller, but I was alone on the wave and having a lot of fun!

That’s when I remembered why I love surfing: The feeling of my shoulders, arms and back aching after a long paddle out and catching lots of waves. The feeling that I may not make the paddle in because I am so tired. Stopping halfway to swim in the calm waters. The excitement I feel in my gut when I get off what I know has just been my wave of the day. The increased energy I have paddling back out after that ride.

Getting humbled by the ocean just when think you have made the drop or pulled off a turn. Getting out of the water at 7:30am, having breakfast and making it home by 10:00am only to realize I still have the entire day ahead of me. Being so tired by 9pm that I fall asleep knowing I need to wake up early to do it all over again.

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There is a story floating around in the recesses of my mind, and I am quite sure that it has been there for quite some time … long before I even became aware of what the story may have been about, or what the story could possibly mean. Much like other stories in my head, it has arrived at a point where I cannot ascertain if the story is true, fictional, or a muddled combination of both – the result of efficient honing that we often times go through as we spin the same yarn over and over again.

I remember an elder woman motioning me to come to her with palm pointed upwards and index finger swaying effortlessly; the wrinkled skin coupled with the sheen of many years worn on her long and slender fingers. Come to me, she motioned. As if dumbfounded and hypnotized, I walked toward her slowly … looking behind me to ensure that it was indeed me that she wanted to approach. Yes, it was only I standing in that courtyard. She held out both of her arms to me, partially hidden by a wonderfully colorful shawl … a remnant from the days when her Menominee tribe flourished in what is now known as Sault St. Marie, I have come to find out. Her fingers sought out my right hand, and grasped it with a strength one would not have expected from her fragile appearance.

Come, sit down. she motioned to me with her head. I, without words, rhyme, or reason, sat down. There was a long silence as she stared at my face; a silence that made the young boy that I was, all of eighteen, very uncomfortable. Yet I endured her gaze. All the while, almost without my knowledge until she paused, the index finger of her right hand tracing the lines on the palm of my right hand. I had expected her to have a raspy, and cackly voice when I had first seen her … much of my preconceived notions quickly flying out into the open air. However, when she spoke, the silky voice and the lilting tone took me by surprise. “There is a lot for you to accomplish yet.” her eyes now fixed onto the lines of my hand. Great. I am getting my fortune told. How big of a sucker was I to have fallen for this oldest of old cons? I was very irritated at myself, wondering how much I would have to pay her once the sham was over. Of course I have a lot to accomplish, I thought to myself trying not to roll my eyes, I was only eighteen years old. “You have had much taken from you already, at such a young age.” she said clearly, grabbing my attention fairly easily. Lucky guess, I thought. “And in your years to come, you will amass much, and lose the same amount repeatedly.” NOW she really had my skin crawling with a creepy feeling.

I was a bit uncomfortable AND a whole lot unnerved. At that young age, one does not like to hear that what you work so hard to accomplish or gain can just as easily be taken. And besides, what did SHE know about me anyhow, right? “Learn to let go of everything, and learn to clean yourself.” She let my hand fall down as she pulled her hands back towards her, disappearing under the colors of the shawl. And in one swift motion, she stood, turned quickly, and very slowly walked away from me … sitting there in the dirt, with a feeling that can only described as one of those “what the heck???” moments. She did not ask for money, did not ask for compensation in any form … and she told me that I was dirty and needed to let go of everything.

WHAT the heck was I supposed to do with that information? I had always thought of cryptic fortune telling about as effective and ambiguous as those generalized horoscopes published in some unsold corner of a newspaper, that no advertiser wanted to buy. And this somewhat hokey incident certainly did NOT make me think any better. But it did feel a bit strange to have someone openly state one’s inner fears and turmoil … I did indeeed have a lot of things to let go of at age eighteen.

Dusting myself off, I recall mumbling to myself how I knew I WAS clean, and that I DID know how to let things go. But I never could let go of that moment, and of what the lady had said. I have told this story countless times, and each time asking my captive (perhaps captured) audience what they thought it could have possibly meant … all without an answer I could make sense of. That is, until twenty one years later.

… [more to come]

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