It’s all about constantly being in the now; knowing you don’t get to choose whether you move forward.
You’re going to move forward, so don’t fight it.

Yeah … I just wiped out, and it will be several more seconds before I can move towards the surface of the water, break free of the foamy froth surrounding me and my surfboard, and catch a breath of air. I calmly watch the movement of the water above me and wait for my chance to surface, making my way behind the passing wave.

Yes, I just wiped out on what should have been a really nice ride on a really nice wave! Ahem. A side note: If you are an ocean person, surfer, waterman, or have ever been in the throes of the ocean’s waves, you are more than likely familiar with the concept of “not fighting it”. Swimmers are often cautioned by ifeguards not to fight a rip tide -  a strong surface current flowing outwards from a shore – when caught in one. Rip tides are narrow enough in size that if you swim parallel to shore, you can easily escape the current and then swim back to shore.

Right. Don’t fight it, just go with the flow until you can easily maneouvre around it and be on your way. As I climb back on my surfboard, half gasping for air and half laughing at what was possibly a good wipe out scene for anyone watching, I remind myself of being in the now. In layman’sterms, it is sort of a quick evaluation and assessment of the situation – a “what did you learn” moment in time. I learned to be in the now, watch what is happening, and respond in a proportionate manner. But the quote is more than just a metaphor for surfing … it’s a good mantra for every day living too!

As with most things in this world, we really do not get to choose a lot of what takes place around us, nor do we get to choose when those things happen. We only get to choose HOW we react to each and every single situation. How we react and continue to respond with every given moment is the only thing that we may be really in control of. A less than attentive driver on the speedway who cuts you off should not dictate how you are to respond or spend the next few moments of your life … you get to choose how you react to that. And of course, there will be moments upon moments when emotion rules over logic, but how far you continue to let it ebb is part of that choice as well. I have chosen to see this quote as a statement to choose what to fight and when to fight – like fighting a rip tide in utter futility versus fighting your own fear of drowning into the strength to swim around a rip tide – not as a commandment to lay down and simply not fight.

It’s not permission to surrender at the challenges we face since we are not in control, but rather a resounding statement to know when it is appropraite to prepare, to analyse, think, and to fight back. It is also a testament to the change that this world will constantly go through – both evolution and regression – moving at such a constant pace that nothing is spared from the momentum. It will change, it is changing, and there is nothing you can do except choose how you will react to each moment of change and forward (sometimes backwards) progression.

And now, if you will excuse me, I have another good wave to catch since I have managed to make my way back to the line up … the waves are coming and I want to make sure I’m in the right spot!

…

Trust Your instincts

If there’s anything I’ve realized over 31 years on this planet and 6 months in the ocean, it’s that your instincts are almost always right. I’d like to think that your instinct is the higher self speaking. Instinct is something that is really hard to quantify or define. It’s something you just feel or know. If you look back over your life you’ll notice that in the moments when you trusted that feeling, you ended up in positive situations. When you go against instinct you almost ALWAYS end up in a complete mess.

Pull out when you think you won’t make it

In many ways this is similar to trusting your instinct. While some might argue against this and say that failure is necessary to learn, this is more about knowing when it’s just time to bail out. If you’re about to take the plunge into a situation and feel like you are on the brink of a severe wipeout, you are almost always right. In life and in surfing this tends to hold true.

Be Present

Last summer when I was working as a marketing intern at Turbotax.com, one of the executives gave a speech to all the interns. When I asked her what they key to making fast progress in your career was, she gave me an answer that seemed counter intuitive to everything I’d ever heard. She told me “Don’t worry about getting ahead, focus on what you’re doing right now. Be present. The rest will take care of itself.”

Presence is at the root of almost any spiritual text that I’ve come across and every personal development guru seems to be a huge advocate of it. When you are present, you achieve peak performance in whatever it is you are doing in the moment. Too much focus on the future and too much dwelling on the past is a recipe for mediocrity.

Shake the wipeouts right away

Sometimes despite trusting your instincts, bailing out when you think you should, and being completely in the moment, you will fail. It’s just part of life. But, how you deal with that failure is what makes the difference between whether or not you achieve what you are truly capable of in this lifetime.

Sometimes the 2nd wave of opportunity is better than the first: If you’re a surfer then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Sometimes you take the first wave in a set and when you look back at the second wave, it’s bigger and better. Life kind of works the same way. There are moments that seem like your friends and everybody around you is getting ahead faster than you are. They are on that first wave of opportunity. If you keep comparing and competing then you’re likely to miss out on the 2nd wave opportunity which is often better than the first. Be OK with the order in which things occur.

Be Patient

Patience is something that I’ve never been very good at. I actually think we live in a world that discourages patience to some degree. Bigger, better, faster seems to be the mantra of the technology and information driven society that we live in today. Wayne Dyer said something really interesting in one of his books: Today it takes more time to get from one side of London to another, than it did before the automobile was invented.” Yet, the whole purpose of the automobile was to speed up the rate at which we get to places. Sometimes slowing down will get you where you want to go much faster, and is less likely to get you into an accident.

Small adjustments make a big difference

It’s amazing how often the smallest adjustments can make huge differences. With surfing, a minor adjustment in your stance can make all the difference between staying on a wave and wiping out. If you look at the design of a car, sometimes it’s literally inches that make a dramatic difference in performance. For a musician, one minor change in the melody, can completely change the sound of a song. If you can find that one small thing that makes a big difference, you’ll expend less effort for more results.

Timing can make the difference between a great ride and a severe wipeout

You’ve probably heard the phrase about many things in life that “timing is everything.” In the worst of economic times, people have made some of their greatest breakthroughs. It’s known that many people became extremely wealthy during The Great Depression. Tough economic times tend to force innovation and this just happens to be timing at work. On the flip side, college students who graduate into a recession may have been better off by graduating even one year earlier.

Wave selection can make all the difference

Success in any endeavor is largely dependent on the choices you make. Choose the right wave and you’ll catch one wave after another. Choose the wrong wave and you’re in for a great deal of time with your head under water. Life is kind of the same way. Choose the right boss and you’re setting yourself up for a successful career. Choose the wrong one and you’re in a losing battle. Choose the right partner, and you’re in a for a joyful relationship. Choose the wrong one and you’re setting yourself up for drama and heartache. So, make sure you choose wisely.

Laugh and Smile every single day

After all is said and done if you don’t laugh and smile, then it doesn’t really matter how much of the above you incorporate into your life. Laughter and smiles are great medications that you won’t find in any pharmacy. Yet, they have more power than most synthesized drugs that we’ve learned to manufacture with the advances we’ve made.

[by Srinivas Rao via theSkooloflife]

But you don’t have to live on the beach and surf all day to get some of that laid-back karma into your busy lives. A few simple principles inspired by the surfer lifestyle will help you to reduce stress, deal with problems and give you that ‘all’s well with the world’ feeling. So here are five ways to bring out your inner surfer, man:

1. The ocean is unpredictable. Surfers never know what’s going to happen next so they just have to go with the flow. You don’t command the wave, you work with it. The unpredictable happens in everyday life. So just go with the flow, don’t get wound up if things don’t go as planned. Stay alive to possibilities and be prepared to go off in new directions.
2. Contrary to popular belief, not all surfers are lazy beach bums! Many surfers  work their butts off for 6 months during the spring and summer and save like mad so that come winter, they can make a surfing trip to warmer climates. Working towards a goal that is really important to you will help you get through the difficult times. Don’t wait twenty years to reward your hard work with an enriching personal experience.
3. Out in the line-up, beyond the breaking waves, no-one cares how much money you have or how many degrees you’ve acquired or how expensive your car is. All that matters is how well you surf and how you treat others in water. It is far less stressful simply to accept people on level terms and not to be blinded by social status. Focus on what you have in common with people, not what sets you apart. Hang out with people who are accepting rather than competitive.
4. Surfers have a great respect for nature and the power of the ocean. They spend much of their time outdoors in beautiful surroundings. Being outdoors is a great mood-improver and the power of nature has a humbling effect. Relive stress by getting outdoors as much as possible, preferably in beautiful surroundings. Oceans and mountains are particularly good for putting everything in perspective!
5. There is a truth universally acknowledged by surfers: everyone wipes out sometime. You take your pounding and you get back on your board and paddle out to do it all again. That knowledge that you are going to fail but try again and again is a very positive attitude. It’s easy to go into something expecting success all the time only to be completely cut up when you fail at something. Life is easier if you accept that things are going to go wrong at times but ultimately believe in your ability to conquer them.

What do you do to reduce the stress in your life? Who do you look to for inspiration?

…

I was going to assemble a list of my favorite activities, and I was on the internet looking for pictures to post when I ran into this GREAT article about doing Waikiki on a cheap dime or for free! How serendipitous! And in these tough economic times, it helps to be able to vacation or stay-cation without spending much, or even better, anything at all.

Here is the list, compiled in 2008 … so be aware that some places/locations may have changed or times been modified.

FREE Stuff in Waikiki: Starting at the airport end of Waikiki (opposite of the Diamond Head end), here are a number of free attractions.

The Gilligan’s Island Harbor: Remember where the 3 Hour Tour started from at the beginning of the TV show? Well, it’s here at Ala Wai Yacht Harbor. Check out some rather large pleasure craft. It’s at the airport end of Waikiki between Hawaiian Prince and the Hilton Lagoon. Nothing special, but well worth a photo!

US Army Museum of Hawaii: Awesome displays and artifacts from both Hawaiian wars and WWII.

Waikiki Beach: Just have a swim, paddle, snorkel, body-surf, sun bake, sleep, whatever floats your boat!

Royal Hawaiian Hotel (the big pink, and recently renovated old-looking one): Free tours 2pm Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Royal Hawaiian Shopping Center (In the Fountain Courtyard): Torch Lighting ceremony nightly from 6 to 6.15pm. 30 minute Polynesian show 6.15pm Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Polynesian show 10 to 11.30am Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday. Hula Lessons 10am Monday, Friday. Lei-making lessons 11am Monday, Wednesday. Ukulele lessons 10am Tuesday, Thursday and 11.30am Monday, Wednesday, Friday.

Sheraton Moana Surfrider (Big white columns, looks like an old Plantation Inn) Free tours at 11am and 5pm, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. DON’T MISS GETTING YOUR PHOTO TAKEN ON THE FAMOUS ROCKING CHAIRS!

Wizard Stones of Kapaemahu: On Kalakaua, beside Police Station. They are said to contain the secrets and healing powers of four sorcerers.

Duke Kahanamoku Statue: Just Diamond Head side of the Wizard Stones. Hawaii’s most decorated athlete, who brought surfing to the world.

Hula Mound: Most nights of the week there is some form of free entertainment at the Hula Mound (200m Diamond Head side of Duke’s Statue on Kalakaua), at 6pm. Hula shows predominantly.

Oceanarium Restaurant: From the hotel lobby of the Pacific Beach Hotel you can easily see a massive aquarium that divides two restaurants (very expensive food). Divers feed the fish at noon, 1pm, 6.30pm and 8pm.

The Wall (and Groin): Built on top of a storm water outlet, this is a great little walk out to the end, to get a different view of Waikiki beach. You can watch surfers and boogie boarders at very close quarters.

Sunset at the Beach festival (EXCEPT August): Every Saturday and Sunday, except in August, the Mayor throws a beach party. Queen’s Surf Beach. Hawaiian bands perform from 4pm to sunset, then when darkness falls, a huge screen is set-up to watch a feature movie! Tables and chairs are set up. Food stalls galore, with nothing over $US6!

Free concerts (EXCEPT August) Sunday 2 to 3pm, the Royal Hawaiian Band, at the Kapiolani Park Bandstand. Friday 5.30 to 6.30pm, different Hawaiian groups each week, at the Kapiolani Park Bandstand.

Kapiolani Park and Beach Park: Gorgeous, well manicured place for relaxing. On weekends, the locals relax, swim, and grill on the barbeque.

Waikiki Historic Trail: Look out for the surfboard markers with historical information about a particular area. 23 in total, you can walk it all in one day, or just complete sections whilst visiting other nearby areas. Definitely print out the text and map from www.waikikihistorictrail.com.

Walk along Waikiki beach at sunset: Sample the outdoor Hawaiian shows at the beachfront hotels. See musicians playing at Sheraton Moana Surfrider’s Banyan Veranda, Duke’s Canoe Club or poolside performers at Sheraton Waikiki.

Kalakaua at night: Street Performers and buskers abound. Also enjoy the antics of the mentally deranged homeless (I know that’s not PC but it is free and entertaining).

ALSO … NOT FREE, but CHEAP:

Waikiki Aquarium: $US9, supposed to be quite good. A great place to identify all of the fish you will/have seen snorkeling.

Honolulu Zoo: $US6, how good is that. Just be aware that it closes at 4.30pm. Occasionally they have a jazz night after hours.

see the full article and video HERE.

…

It’s a very difficult sport to master and I’m not even close to where I want to be. But I work on it, constantly. I surf because it maintains my sanity. Without it, I’m left swimming in a sea of dark mental chatter that threatens to drown me out entirely.

I bought a short board last Christmas. This is a very big deal. Short boarding is for the hotshots, the pros, the fast ones, the shredders, the rippers. Short boards are difficult to ride and require more control and manipulation. You “carve” a wave instead of coasting down it and build momentum with fast turns.

I’m 42 and female. I bought a short board that many men my size can’t ride.

Long boarding, on the other hand is easier. It is how many people learn how to surf, though I did not. It’s a bigger and slower, experience. You can catch waves more simply. Its easier to find your center of balance. It’s graceful and an art in and of itself.

In a nutshell, short boarding is like driving a touchy race car and long boarding is akin to taking a Cadillac out on a Sunday drive.

Two totally different animals.

I spent the better part of the bitter winter struggling with this board, wiping out repeatedly and spending agonizingly long moments pinned to the ocean floor in 38 degree water temps. I’ve been held under so long that I couldn’t speak afterward, my facial muscles constricted from the cold.

Sitting in my truck, heat blasting and ego deflating, I’d wonder if my new board is simply beyond my skill level. It’s just another mistake I’ve made. And a costly one – boards aren’t cheap…long or short.

And the men out in the water didn’t help. They’d paddle up to me, icy breathed, saying, “You really should try a longer board. It’s easier.” Of course, I knew they’d never say this to a guy. I paddled far from them and practiced. All winter. I stayed away from “the group” until I felt more confident. I didn’t need their critical eyes on me, like watery vultures preying on weakness.

It’s important to hold your own with other surfers. The better you get, the more you’re “allowed” to surf with the good ones at the better spots. And they give you no breaks. They’ll yell at you if you pull off a wave (meaning you chickened out at the last second) and they expect you to keep up with them. It’s very “in club” and very competitive – male or female.

Very slowly, I improved and joined back up with other surfers. I could catch waves, drop in, make turns but still hadn’t mastered sharp turns, where you use your back foot as the pivot. My board still feels like glass under my feet. It goes so quickly and my response time needs to improve. But I hold my own.

Still, the chorus of voices chant, “Get a long board, Beth.”

Luckily, there is one voice of dissent: Kurt.

Yep, he’s my only ally. Friends and I have lengthy discussions wondering whether Kurt may in fact be part wild. He’s a highly kinetic dude. Think Spicolli from Fast Times at Ridgemont High meets a hand grenade. He’s an aggressive and good surfer. And a real sweetheart. He believes in me. He’s my crazy little lifeboat.

I surf with him the most. He’s watched me get tossed about like a rag doll all winter. It sucks failing repeatedly but having someone watch you fail repeatedly sucketh that much more.

Kurt has constantly maintained that I could learn and master this board. I just had to stick with it.

He’s heard people tell me I should get a long board and he gets equally defensive. “Why should she get a long board? She’s good. She’s aggressive. She just needs practice.” I could kiss him when he says this.

Yesterday, one of the nicest local guys I surf with paddled up to me (right after I caught a solid wave and was feeling rather proud) and I could feel it, before he even said it.

“You know what you need, Beth?”

“Don’t tell me, Chris. Let me guess. A long board?”

“Exactly! How did you know?”

My face froze like it did in the winter, but this time with anger. I was pissed.

“I knew, Chris, because I hear it all the time. Even though you all see me catching waves on this board. Even though I’ve don’t even like long boarding. Even though, if I was a guy, you wouldn’t say that in the first place!”

“I just see that board slipping away from you sometimes.”

“When?”

“I don’t know. Just in general.”

“Have you watched me lately? Did you see that last wave? I’ve done nothing but improve on this board. Besides its 7 inches taller than me…it’s not even thatshort of a board for my size. What, do you want me on a big, fat, pretty cruiser board? Should it be pink with ribbons too?”

He muttered something about not meaning anything by it and paddled away, looking a little hurt and feeling badly.

And so did I. I don’t like snapping at people. But a girl can only take so much.

The voices inside my head began their usual battle.

“You shouldn’t have been so mean.”

“Well, when can I speak my mind? When can I just tell people to back the fuck off? When can I be angry?”

Of course, this kind of battle rages on, regardless of surfing. It’s almost as if the more I find “my voice” the more I alienate people. And then I berate myself for…being too much myself. I can be an angry, self-righteous and opinionated bitch. And I don’t see any signs of changing these traits. If anything, they are becoming more pronounced.

But then the guilt kicks in and my inner shrew shrieks in frustration.

“What do you want, Beth? Do you want to be yourself or do you want the world to love you?”

“I want both. Isn’t it possible to have both?”

“No. It’s not. You just aren’t that nice, that likable.”

“But I am. I am. I swear, I am!” the gentle, quiet soul in me protests. “I’m very kind.”

I tried to be nicer to Chris the rest of that session though I was the one who felt insulted, degraded. It’s the twisted way in which one lives apologetically.

“Sorry I spoke up. Sorry I got angry. Sorry I exist. Sorry I cried. Sorry I scared you away. Sorry I yelled. Sorry for my clumsy humanness. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.”

What a dilemma we women find ourselves in – or at least this woman. You either smile and hear limiting messages for the fortieth time or you finally speak from your gut and feel like shit about it afterward. I’m trying to eliminate the “feel like shit” aspect.

I’m trying to learn to short board at 42. It’s very hard but I’m getting it: short boarding and telling people to f*ck *ff.

…

[by Beth Mann via Mannonparade] “Surfing, Sexism and Self-flagellation”

Yeah! It was fun. It was harder than I thought, but fun. Easy to paddle though. And I like that I was surfing with so many girls!

These kinds of conversations still, after so much talking and thinking about it, astound me. Even though I know they shouldn’t.

Don’t you usually surf with any women?

No! Never! But it was cool having so many chicks out there.

Why? So you can perve?

Yeah, a bit. Haha! But it was just nice not to only be out there with dudes. It sucks that I usually only get to surf with guys.

I’ve never been unlucky enough to only surf with guys in the water. Being a woman means that if I’m surfing, then there is always going to be a woman in the lineup. I don’t know what that means, but apparently it means something for men like Bruce. But in some ways, I feel lucky – lucky that I don’t always surf with only women or only men. Lucky that I get to have all these funny conversations and moments in and out of the water. Where I usually surf, women in the water are not an exception to the rule – in fact, they’re sometimes the majority – so like I said, it’s hard for me to get my head around the fact that women who surf continue to be imaginary for so many men. Like a myth.

I suppose it’s good to be reminded of it every so often.

This year, the 44-year-old dives into some new waters. His clothing line — a men’s surf and skate collection called Wonderwall — launched exclusively at Steve & Barry’s stores in May. His documentary “Path of Purpose,” which raises awareness of autism, will debut on the Sundance Channel this month. Hamilton says in every venture, every new experience, he applies these lessons he has learned on the water:

1. KNOW THAT YOU ARE A SPECK ON THE WATER. “The ocean’s vastness reminds you of your insignificance. It’s like a grounder. The ocean has been around long before people got here and will be here long after. The humility you learn from being in the ocean is a constant reminder of your vulnerability.”
2. GO BIG OR GO HOME. “You can’t kind of catch a wave. You either catch it or you don’t. It’s a commitment. That’s just like anything else — you either go or you don’t. He who hesitates is lost in the end.”
3. LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. “You have a feeling about things. You think something doesn’t feel right, then you look and see a shark. As a species, humans are growing away from listening to their instinct. It’s a learned skill based on survival and then reacting. The more you listen to your instinct and then react to it, the more you awaken the spirit, and that helps you make good decisions, no matter where you are.”
4. UNDERSTAND YOU’RE NOT IN CONTROL. “Being a human, you want to think you can control circumstances. It’s cold, so you turn on the heat; you’re hot, so you turn on the air conditioning. The ocean reminds you that you really don’t have any control: It’s in control when you’re in it. The sooner you embrace that, the easier it will be in other aspects of your life.”
5. GET WET. “The ocean is a healer, big-time. We just don’t have any idea of the magnitude of what the ocean provides us. If you just go down to the beach, go out to surf and come right back in, you feel better about yourself. If you ride a wave, that’s just icing on the cake.”
6. PUT THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE. “People talk about their problems. Stuck in traffic? That’s not a problem. Don’t know how you’re going to pay your bills? Not a [life-or-death] problem. A problem is when you’re 80 miles offshore and have no way to get back.”
7. KEEP LEARNING. “Surfing is probably one of the most difficult sports. There are no referees, no timeouts. [The waves don't] care about your bank account, your ancestry, your intelligence. It’s just you working the water. And the more I learn, the more I don’t know. That’s an ocean lesson.”
8. BE DETERMINED. “With determination, most things will be quite easy. You go out and get hammered by a wave and then by another one and another one, and you think, ‘OK, I’m still here.’ And then you get a good wave, and you’ve made it. The one thing that’s great about surfing is that there’s no right or wrong way. ”
9. DON’T GET STALE. “Ideas [about new surfing techniques and new sports] come out of boredom and my desire to be passionate. You have to figure out ways to make things exciting and interesting. When something I’ve been doing for a while becomes popular, I’m beyond it. So by default, I end up being different. It’s that whole desire to keep inspiring and keep renewing your passion.”
10. DON’T JUDGE. “The ocean is non-judgmental. It doesn’t differentiate between you and the next guy. I want to be a little more like the ocean — not judging people who have an opinion. One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that we’re all equal before a wave.”

Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there’s no reason we can’t entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates. I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.

Ladies and gentlemen … wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

• Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
• Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.
• Do one thing every day that scares you.
• Sing.
• Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
• Floss.
• Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
• Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
• Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
• Stretch.
• Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
• Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
• Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
• Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
• Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
• Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
• Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
• Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
• Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
• Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
• Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
• Travel.
• Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.
• Respect your elders.
• Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
• Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
• Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

…

[Reprinted without permission from the Chicago Tribune. Originally published: Sunday, June 1, 1997. Initially attributed as written by Kurt Vonnegut for the 1997 MIT graduation ceremony, but originally credited to Mary Schmich]