A once-boyfriend was having a passionate affair with another woman— and her name was Golf.

And the worst part, he wanted to have a three-some! I’m not kinky but I do have an open mind and a curious one as well; I wanted to know what this Golf had that was so appealing that it lured my surfer boyfriend out of the water and onto the grass.

And so there I was, somewhere between Ewa Beach and a Monopoly of identical townhouses picking up my very first full set of clubs— bag and new shoes and all. It cost me $50, thanks to Craig and his list. My first time was at the Ala Wai range and like a conniving woman, this Golf let me handle her and take control and made me feel really comfortable.  The seductress knew what she was doing.  For a newbie, I was hitting the ball pretty good and I was liking this Golf thing… nevermind that I didn’t know the difference between irons, woods, and putters. She showed me a good time.

And so I was hooked, even for just the time being. I even made it to a par-3 course. I actually liked Golf, but it was just not the same for me as it was for him because he absolutely loved it. And why not?

Golf is just like a woman. What else can give a man so much pleasure and frustration in a span of strokes or holes? It’s this passionate love-hate relationship that keeps men coming back. It’s not an expensive massage-parlor habit with the given happy endings.

Oh no, it’s much deeper than that because emotions, commitment, and future plans are involved. First Hawaii Kai, then maybe Olomana, then maybe Turtle Bay, then maybe a $500- tee time at Pebble Beach (yeah, you know how men get so dreamy and unrealistic when they get caught in the moment)!

Tee-times are scheduled, Hurley and Volcom t-shirts are thrown onto the floor while collared Tiger Dri-FIT Nikes and Callaway shirts are unhung. But you know, you can dress a man in a polo shirt, put him on a golf-course and call him a gentleman— but he is still just a man. He’ll cuss, drink beer, and play a pissing game of out-driving other men. He’ll even find a cart, race, and drive erratically in both pleasure and pain in the name of this woman named Golf.

But while men think they’re playing her, she’s actually playing them. She’s laughing and I’m reading her mind.

Men are so easy, she says.

And I agree… Golf is one cool chick.

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